Journals52
Newest
i built a home
4 min read
Dear diary;
I am feeling very conflicted as of late with a lot of things in my life (seriously, who isn't like this? i bet i'm like the millionth person today to write a journal about his or her woes). I just can't seem to decide how I feel about anything (having a hard time not staring off into space without a smile) and last night when my phone spazzed and deleted every single message in my phone I just about lost my mind xD I had saved so many special messages on that phone not just from my boyfriend or my mom or my dad but from everyone who loves me. I liked to look at them and remember that even if I couldn't see that certain person face-to-face, I knew he or she still loved me with all their heart and that they believed in me. An example of my confliction: college is starting soon and I know I should just be so pumped but I'm not! Okay, let me clarify: I'm not depressed nor am I sad and I am certainly NOT lonesome. I feel like I'm moving forward and I can't stop time. Even if I went back it would never be enough to satisfy this strange emptiness in my heart. I just have to learn to love myself a little bit more in this time that I am in and open my heart just a little wider to the opportunities coming at me head on.
What really brought this on is the fact that the story that I have been writing since early 2009 is now being completely rewritten with major character changes (i.e. name changes, descriptions, personalities etc. etc.) and I found this song that I can't stop listening to called To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra. It makes me feel like I'm not going crazy because the lyrics explain my train of thought this past month. Also, the song helped me realize what this story truly meant to me all along: It was home. It is a slow process as I change from first person perspective to third and I try to broaden the passages and write in a more mature fashion with better vocabulary and dialogue. I built this home and now it is gone because I am far too big for it anymore. It's time to grow up.
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home
And I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
And I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
--The Cinematic Orchestra; "To Build a Home"
Destiny, signing out.
I am feeling very conflicted as of late with a lot of things in my life (seriously, who isn't like this? i bet i'm like the millionth person today to write a journal about his or her woes). I just can't seem to decide how I feel about anything (having a hard time not staring off into space without a smile) and last night when my phone spazzed and deleted every single message in my phone I just about lost my mind xD I had saved so many special messages on that phone not just from my boyfriend or my mom or my dad but from everyone who loves me. I liked to look at them and remember that even if I couldn't see that certain person face-to-face, I knew he or she still loved me with all their heart and that they believed in me. An example of my confliction: college is starting soon and I know I should just be so pumped but I'm not! Okay, let me clarify: I'm not depressed nor am I sad and I am certainly NOT lonesome. I feel like I'm moving forward and I can't stop time. Even if I went back it would never be enough to satisfy this strange emptiness in my heart. I just have to learn to love myself a little bit more in this time that I am in and open my heart just a little wider to the opportunities coming at me head on.
What really brought this on is the fact that the story that I have been writing since early 2009 is now being completely rewritten with major character changes (i.e. name changes, descriptions, personalities etc. etc.) and I found this song that I can't stop listening to called To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra. It makes me feel like I'm not going crazy because the lyrics explain my train of thought this past month. Also, the song helped me realize what this story truly meant to me all along: It was home. It is a slow process as I change from first person perspective to third and I try to broaden the passages and write in a more mature fashion with better vocabulary and dialogue. I built this home and now it is gone because I am far too big for it anymore. It's time to grow up.
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home
And I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
And I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
--The Cinematic Orchestra; "To Build a Home"
Destiny, signing out.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Cells Planets, Little Grey Girlfriend
2 min read
So far away
far away
So far away
far away,
when all will
shine
and all will
play
hey.
The stars will open up
and all will be
tiny pieces of galaxy,
reflected in you and me . . .
Cells,
planets,
same thing . . .
Bright electric lights
on all the leaves,
and everything
growing from a tree,
water's blood,
and roots are veins.
I don't know you
but I like you,
I don't know you
but I miss you,
I don't know you
but I need
you . . .
The smallest is
the biggest thing
and in all the world
the love
is the love
from me
to you…
I don't know you
but I like you,
I don't know you
but I miss you,
I don't know you
but I need
you . . . .
far away
So far away
far away,
when all will
shine
and all will
play
hey.
The stars will open up
and all will be
tiny pieces of galaxy,
reflected in you and me . . .
Cells,
planets,
same thing . . .
Bright electric lights
on all the leaves,
and everything
growing from a tree,
water's blood,
and roots are veins.
I don't know you
but I like you,
I don't know you
but I miss you,
I don't know you
but I need
you . . .
The smallest is
the biggest thing
and in all the world
the love
is the love
from me
to you…
I don't know you
but I like you,
I don't know you
but I miss you,
I don't know you
but I need
you . . . .
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
excuse me,
1 min read
but I feel like you should get kicked some more
and lay on the ground in a daze
before you can even know
the pain that you have caused
on someone who you chose to lean on
who was, actually, already falling
now, have a good day
and lay on the ground in a daze
before you can even know
the pain that you have caused
on someone who you chose to lean on
who was, actually, already falling
now, have a good day
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
sometimes
1 min read
in spring, there is chance for new life come into the world
in summer, this life is given many chances to grow when challenges come its way
and sometimes these challenges take their toll
like the stem of a sunflower we bend and cannot get back up
but within the arms, minds and hearts of those who love us we may heal
...sometimes
in summer, this life is given many chances to grow when challenges come its way
and sometimes these challenges take their toll
like the stem of a sunflower we bend and cannot get back up
but within the arms, minds and hearts of those who love us we may heal
...sometimes
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
just trying to prove who's right
1 min read
It is what we do
To justify our answer
To the question no one asks
Destiny, signing off.
To justify our answer
To the question no one asks
Destiny, signing off.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In